Student’s Guide to Choosing a Roommate

Choosing an apartment is one thing, but choosing a roommate? That can be an even larger hurdle for today’s college students. From ensuring you’re compatible to aligning finances, there’s a lot that goes into finding the perfect roomie. However, with help from reliable resources like ForRentUniversity, you can simplify the process and discover the ideal roommate for your college experience.

In this guide, we’ll cover all the bases for choosing a college roommate. From questions to ask to potential red flags to look out for, here’s a preview of what we’ll cover:

Why Roommate Compatibility Matters

If you’ve never lived with a roommate before, you might have questions about roommate dynamics and why they matter. At its core, a roommate is someone you cohabitate with, meaning you co-exist together in the same living space. However, if you’re lucky, your roommate relationship can evolve into something much more meaningful.

Many college renters view their roommate as a built-in best friend. They’re someone they can come home to and vent about a difficult exam, someone they can relax and watch TV with—ultimately, someone who adds to their college experience. However, this isn’t always the case, and that’s okay! Sometimes a roommate is as simple as that – someone you share a living space with. Some roommate relationships remain polite and respectful, focused on coexisting harmoniously, while others may blossom into close friendships. However, some can also be challenging or even tumultuous.

All that said, it’s important to find someone you’re compatible with to avoid messy living situations. No, we’re not necessarily talking about having the same favorite sport or coming from the same hometown. While those commonalities might strengthen a bond, what truly matters are practical factors—such as cleanliness, daily routines, and lifestyle habits.

In the sections ahead, we’ll dive deeper into these compatibility factors and explore how they can shape your roommate experience. Whether you’re hoping to find a new best friend or just a peaceful cohabitation, understanding these dynamics is the first step.

Know Yourself First

Before you can decide whether a potential roomie is the right fit, you must get to know yourself and your living preferences. Do you like to go to bed early? How clean do you like to keep your apartment? What living standards do you set for yourself?

Answering these questions will provide some intel on yourself and what you’re looking for in a roommate. To maximize self-discovery during this step, try to really dig deep and consider the following living factors:

Lifestyle habits

Let’s begin with lifestyle habits. These can span any and all living factors, from when you go to bed to your eating habits. For example, if you like to wake up early to exercise before class, you won’t want a roommate who stays up late making noise. Or, if you’re a vegetarian, living with someone who cooks meat frequently may not be ideal. Consider your daily routines, habits, and preferences to ensure you and your roommate’s lifestyles don’t clash throughout the lease.

Communication style

Communication is critical to a positive roommate relationship. However, it's not always easy to find a roommate with a compatible communication style. Maybe you’re someone who likes to set boundaries right off the bat, while your roommate prefers a more laid-back approach. Or maybe you prefer to talk things out in person, while your roommate is more comfortable sending texts.

Before living with someone, make sure you’re aligned when it comes to communication. Doing so will minimize the risk of miscommunication or conflict and set you and your roomie up for a more successful living situation.

Dealbreakers and must-haves

Lastly, think about your dealbreakers and must-haves. For someone who’s organized and neat, a dealbreaker might be a roommate who doesn’t clean up after themselves. Or, if you’re a social butterfly, your must-have might be a roommate who goes out with you on the weekends. Think about what matters to you most and try to ask relevant questions like those listed in the next section.

Questions to Ask a Potential Roommate

After some self-reflection, you should be in a good position to collect some questions for your potential roommate. These questions can cover a range of topics from daily habits to financial responsibilities.

To make things easier for you, we’ve compiled a list of potential questions to ask, sorted into the following four categories:

Living habits and lifestyle

What is your daily routine like?
Do you prefer a quiet or social living environment?
How do you typically spend your free time at home?
Do you have any specific dietary restrictions or preferences?
How clean or organized are you?

Financial responsibilities

How do you prefer to split rent and utilities?
Are you comfortable with setting a shared budget for household expenses?
Have you ever had issues with paying rent or bills on time?
Do you have a stable source of income to support rent and shared expenses?
Are you open to discussing financial arrangements regularly to avoid misunderstandings?

Schedules and priorities

What does your typical work or school schedule look like?
Are you more of a morning person or a night owl?
How do you handle shared responsibilities like cleaning or grocery shopping?
What do you like to do on the weekends?
How do you prefer to manage quiet hours or study/work time at home?

Pets, smoking, and significant others

Do you have any pets, or are you planning to get one?
Are you a smoker, or do you mind living in a smoking environment?
How often do you expect significant others or guests to visit?
Do you have any dealbreakers when it comes to pets, smoking, guests, etc.?
Are there any allergies or sensitivities (e.g., to pets) that I should be aware of?

Where to Find a Roommate

Now that you know what to ask a potential roommate, let’s talk about where to find one. Nowadays, there are all kinds of platforms for finding a roommate, from social media to roommate-matching services. However, that’s not to say you can’t find one the old-fashioned way through word-of-mouth or networking.

If you know what you want in a roommate but don’t know where to find them, consider the following options:

Social media

Social media is a great place to look for potential roommates. Many universities have dedicated Facebook groups where students can connect on housing opportunities. Or, you can also broadcast your roommate search on your personal social platforms, gauging the interest of your online network. If you want maximum reach and plentiful options, social media is the best place to look.

Roommate matching services

Some universities offer roommate matching services through housing questionnaires. These surveys will have questions just like those listed in the last section, asking participants about their living habits, dealbreakers, and more. If social media isn’t really your style, see if your college offers these kinds of services. It may lead you to the perfect roommate and a lifelong friend!

Networking

In some cases, the perfect roommate may be someone you already know! Whether it be a former classmate or someone in your direct social circle, there’s a chance that a compatible match is already in your network. Or, if not someone you directly know, it may be a friend of a friend who would be a great fit.

Take advantage of your existing connections and ask around to see if anyone needs a roommate or knows someone who does. This can save you time in your search and potentially lead to a great living situation with someone you already have a connection with.

Red Flags to Look Out For

We’d be doing you a disservice if we didn’t share red flags to look out for when searching for a roommate. Though someone may seem like a great match upon first meeting, there could be underlying signs of incompatibility or deceit.

The best way to identify these signs is to be aware of them from the start and keep them in mind as you search. Here are some major red flags to consider:

History of roommate issues

When speaking with a potential roommate, take note if they speak poorly of their previous living situation. This could be a sign that they’re difficult to cohabitate with, even if they put the blame on their former roommate. Additionally, if someone is constantly switching roommates or apartments, this could also be a red flag.

Vague or noncommittal answers

Vague or noncommittal answers are another red flag to consider. Say you ask a potential roomie if they’re okay with having guests over, and their response is, “I don’t know, I guess so.” This could indicate that they are not willing to compromise or be clear about their expectations. It’s better to live with someone who can clearly define boundaries and communicate openly.

Unreliable financial situation

Signs of financial unreliability should set off alarms in your head when vetting a potential roommate. For example, if they’re someone who’s constantly borrowing money from friends or missing credit card payments, they may not be someone you can trust to pay their share of rent. While college isn’t typically a time of financial abundance, it’s still reasonable to expect a roommate to demonstrate a basic level of financial responsibility.

Tips for Living with a Roommate

Finding a good roommate is only half the battle. Once you’ve signed a lease, you’ll have to work to sustain a healthy and positive living environment. From communication to cleanliness, here are some tips for maintaining a healthy living situation with your roommate:

Set boundaries respectfully

One of the most important things to establish with a roommate is boundaries. This includes both physical and personal boundaries. For example, make it clear which spaces are shared and which are private. Discuss any pet peeves or preferences you may have regarding noise levels, cleanliness, and guests. By setting boundaries respectfully and communicating openly, you can avoid potential conflicts and maintain a positive living environment.

Conduct regular check-ins

As mentioned earlier, communication is key when it comes to living with a roommate. One of the best ways to establish a clear line of communication is to conduct regular check-ins. Whether you want to discuss schedules for that week or potentially address concerns or problems you’ve been having, regularly touching base is a great way to stay connected. This can prevent small frustrations from evolving into bigger problems.

Handle disputes early

If you and your roommate happen to have butt heads, it’s crucial to address the problem early on. Ignoring problems or pretending they don’t exist will only lead to tension and resentment in the long run. Rather than avoiding conflict, try to have a calm and open conversation about your issues. Doing so will allow both you and your roommate to share your perspectives and find a mutually beneficial solution.

FAQs

What should I consider when choosing a roommate?

Consider compatibility in lifestyle, cleanliness, schedules, and communication styles. It's also important to discuss financial responsibilities upfront.

Is it better to live with a friend or someone new?

Living with a friend can be great if you're both clear about expectations, but it may strain the relationship if conflicts arise. Someone new can offer a fresh start but requires open communication to build trust.

What happens if things go wrong with my roommate?

Address issues quickly and calmly by discussing them directly with your roommate. If problems persist, involve a mediator or consult your lease agreement for next steps.